sorry to say this but the staff weren't trying to tell you anything, they were just following orders from their higher ups to keep you muted and banned. If any of the staff actually cared they would do something about your punishments.
In my experience showing kindness to people who are very mean usually backfires and pisses them off more, or they'll just keep bothering you because they'll think your ok with it since your showing kindness
You're absolutely right about everything you said, though you have to remember that it is the staff's role to defend things about the server since they are working for it for free. I'm sure no matter how awful the server becomes because of bad management, there will always be the staff or people...